What Happens When I Stop Being the Answer?

A quiet unraveling of worth, usefulness, and identity.

There was a time I thought I had to be the answer.

To be wise.

To be helpful.

To be steady, no matter the cost.

I thought if I held it all together, I’d finally be loved.

I thought if I kept giving, I’d never disappear.

But what happens when I stop translating my pain into something useful?

When I stop stitching myself into everyone else’s healing?

When I stop offering insight in exchange for belonging?

What happens when I just... exist?

I no longer want to be significant.

I want to be sacred.

Even when I am quiet.

Even when I am messy.

Even when no one is watching.

I no longer need to be needed to feel real.

I refuse to be the solution to every problem.

I will not confuse being useful with being loved.

I will not barter my serenity for approval.

I release the belief that I must earn my place by producing beauty, wisdom, or ease for others.

I release the fear that if I stop creating, I’ll disappear.

I release the impulse to translate every wound into a teaching.

I do not exist to fix what is broken.

I do not exist to hold everything together.

I do not exist to be admired.

I exist to be known.

Known in my fear.

Known in my silence.

Known when I’m undone.

I will let myself be seen without explanation.

Held without offering.

Heard without translating my tenderness into language you can digest.

My sacredness is not dependent on usefulness, clarity, or grace.

It is not a reward for resilience.

It is breath and blood.

Ache and joy.

Body and bone.

It is a truth that says:

Even if I vanish from this world,

I was here.

I was real.

I mattered—even in the moments no one saw me.

I will create what nourishes me.

I will rest without apology.

I will ask without shame.

I will say no, even when I could say yes.

Yes, I am a lighthouse.

But I am also a shoreline.

A storm.

A quiet room no one needs permission to enter.

I am not the medicine.

I am not the lesson.

I am not the ritual.

I am the human behind it.

And I will not vanish just because I stopped performing.

Love today,

Heather 🌸

↓ Ritual Download: The Laying Down ↓